Stuff
by ChickWithThePurpleGuitar
Summary: Drabbles of randomness coming your way! From fluff, to humor, to just plain...weird. All drabbles, all the time! Mostly after Goliath, otherwise will be stated. Rated T for one later chapter.
1. Spanish Lessons

**A/N: Hola peoples of life and otherwise! Here's some completely random, occasionally fluffy, all-in-all amazing drabbles for y'all! Hope you likes them! Pretty please reviewify!**

**Btw, the T rating is only for one chapter, later on in the collection. The rating's just to be safe.**

**Also, most of these are after Goliath. If they're not, I will specify.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**R&R!**

"Yo tengo una amiga," Alek read carefully. "I have a friend."

"Alek, what in blazes are you doing?" Deryn asked, leaning against the doorframe of his hotel.

"I'm practicing my Spanish," Alek replied, holding up his "How to Learn Spanish" book.

Deryn raised an eyebrow. "Why?"  
>Alek shrugged. "Just in case we ever need it."<p>

Deryn came over and sat on the arm of Alek's chair, reading over his shoulder. "Alright then, Señor. How do you say…. 'kiss me' in Spanish?"

Alek consulted his book. "_Besame_," he reported.

Deryn leaned closer. "_Besame, _Aleksandar."

So he did.

**A/N: I hope you liked it! The next one will come soon. I'll probably update once a week (mainly because I gave up computer for Lent, so I can only go on FF on Sundays anyway). Please review!**


	2. How Not to Ask

**A/N: Hola peoples! Happy Sunday! Computer is amazing! Here's my second drabble. I wrote this in the middle of the night and I have no idea where it came from. It's almost all dialogue and basically it's Alek's attempt at asking Deryn out on their first date. Normal is Alek, italicized it Deryn. Hope you enjoy! Please review!**

**Note to Smart Girl: You did, _Dummkopf._**

**Note to messaging a lizard: It's hard, trust me. But I'm allowed to do school stuff; I just can't get distracted and half do work, half go on fanfiction, like I usually do. **

**Thanks to all reviewers! Hope you do it again! :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, which depresses me. **

"Deryn?"

_"Alek?"_

"…Nothing."

…

"Deryn?"

_Sigh. "Yes, Alek?"_

"…It's nothing."

…..

"Deryn?"

"_What is it Alek?"_

"….I'm sorry. I'm rubbish at this. I've never asked a girl out before."

_"…You're asking me out?"_

"Attempting to, yes."

_"Well, then, I accept your invitation. But I expect a proper asking next time."_

"Of course. You deserve nothing less, Miss Sharp."

**A/N: Hope you liked it! Please review and I'll update again next Sunday! :) **


	3. Hunting For an Empire & Aquarium

**A/N: Hola peoples. Happy Sunday! Thanks for all the reviews and I hope more come! :) Sorry about the shortness of the last drabble. This one's slightly longer. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

Prince Aleksandar of Hohenberg, at thirteen years old, was more than excited when his father asked to have a private talk with him. Whenever the young prince was allowed out of his lessons, it obviously meant something important was going on.

Alek met his father outside by the stables. The archduke looked scarily serious, Alek noticed, and the young prince wondered for a moment if something was wrong.

"Aleksandar," Alek's father greeted him.

Alek bowed respectfully. "Father."

The archduke gestured for Alek to stand next to him. Alek joined his father and, together, they both looked out over Austria-Hungary.

"That'll be your kingdom someday, Alek," the archduke told his son.

Alek looked up at his father, a look of confusion on his face. "But I thought you said—"

"I'm going to fix it, Alek," Franz interrupted. "I'm going to make everything better."

"How?" Alek dared to ask.

His father sighed. "Count Volger and I are going on a trip. Nothing you should worry about, just a… a hunting trip. But… no matter what happens, Alek, I promise you this: I _will _make this right."

Alek nodded then, but still he wondered how in blazes a hunting trip could win him an empire.

**And now, I'm bored, so you get a second drabble today! This makes me magical, you're welcome. **

Alek stared, open-mouthed, at the millions of creatures flying past him as he pressed his face and hands against the glass.

"Hands off the glass, Mr. Hohenberg," Dr. Barlow reminded him.

"_Mr. _Hohenberg," the loris on her shoulder repeated.

"Sorry, Doctor," he muttered, stepping back just a bit.

"How are you liking the London Zoo, Alek?" Deryn asked, grinning at Alek as he gaped at the fish through the glass case.

Alek smiled back at her and Bovril on her shoulder. "They remind me of you, Deryn." He indicated the fish.

Deryn raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Alek rolled his eyes. "No; I mean… they're independent. They know they shouldn't be able to fly, but they find their own way to do it anyway." He smiled affectionately at her. "Just like you."

Deryn shook her head. "Barking daft used-to-be prince," she grumbled. "Comparing me to a fish."

But after making sure no one was watching (besides Bovril), she kissed him anyway.

**A/N: There you go, two drabbles cause I'm special. Now, you all have to review twice (not really, but it'd be great if you did). See you next week!**

**By the way, if any of you guys have any suggestions for drabble ideas, I'd be glad to take them. Thanks for all your support guys and please keep reviewing! :) :) :)**


	4. Languages of Love

**A/N: Hey guys. Here's your weekly update- only one this time. I seriously need suggestions for future drabbles so please feel free to leave some in your reviews. **

**Anyway, hope you enjoy this one. It took me forever to find these on Google Translate (mainly b/c I was too lazy to half the time) but I hope you like it. Please review!**

**Also, a note to Oniongrass (i believe that's who commented on this- if it's not don't hate me i'm too lazy to check), _Mr_. Hohenberg is a reference to the Bonus Chapter. Alek is soundly male (as far as we know :D)**

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing- not even a sandwich. **

"_Ich liebe dich," _Alek practiced, thinking that maybe a foreign language might make it easier.

It didn't.

"_Je t'aime," _he tried again. Still it just didn't sound right.

"_Ti amo._" Italian didn't help.

"_Szeretlek._" Hungarian she wouldn't understand.

"_Te amo._" He'd even learned how to say it in Spanish for her, but still he was afraid.

Alek spun around as his cabin door creaked open. Deryn entered the room, looking curious and confused. "What did you—" she began.

Before she could finish, Alek stepped forward and kissed her, deciding that no language was needed. But he said it anyway, just for her sake.

"I love you, Deryn."

**A/N: Pure fluff there. Hope you liked it anyway. Please review and give me suggestions, and I'll update next week! :) **


	5. Distant Family Reunion

**A/N: hola people. Too lazy to write a real a/n today, so read and review!**

**I own nothing.**

Nora Sophia Hohenberg stepped onto the airfield, her mother holding her hand tightly.

"What was it like, mummy?" Nora asked softly. "When you were my age?"

"Hard," Deryn told her daughter. "But it was worth it. And don't worry. You won't have to go through all that. We're only here for a meeting."

Nora had been thrilled when her parents had agreed to take Nora and her brother to the _Leviathan _crew reunion. Nora's father and her brother, Hans, were coming along behind in the car. But Deryn had wanted to give her daughter the full experience of her own first trip to Wormwood Scrubs, so they'd taken the omnibus.

Deryn squeezed Nora's hand and pulled her forward when she noticed a familiar face.

"Mr. Newkirk!" Deryn exclaimed at the sight of her old friend.

"Mr. Sharp!" Newkirk came over to join them, and frowned slightly at the sight of Deryn in a dress, albeit a more casual one. "Or, uh… Mrs. Hohenberg, I suppose."

Deryn rolled her eyes. "Sharp works," she said.

Newkirk leaned down to get a better look at the girl holding his best friend's hand. "And who's this?"

Deryn grinned. "Mr. Newkirk, this is my daughter Nora. Nora, this is your godfather."

Newkirk stared at the girl as she timidly waved at him.

"No way this is little Nora," Newkirk said thoughtfully. "I was at your christening, young lady. As your ma said, I _am _your godfather, after all."

"Aye, but only because it was either him or Uncle Jaspert," Deryn told her daughter, too softly for Newkirk to hear.

Seeing Nora stifle a laugh, Mr. Newkirk asked, "What was that, Deryn?"

"Mum was only saying that she picked you because she felt you were the best choice to help teach me to be a good child," Nora lied.

Newkirk rolled his eyes. "I see she's inherited your talent for lying, Mr. Sharp," he commented.

Deryn shrugged. "What can I say? She's a natural."

After Deryn and Newkirk had had a good laugh about that, Deryn noticed someone in the distance and exclaimed, "Oh! Is that Captain Hobbes? _Blisters,_ he's old! I'll be right back, Nora."

Deryn grabbed Newkirk's hand and they ran off toward their old boss.

A few minutes later, the family car pulled up and Alek and his eight-year-old son stepped onto the airfield.

Alek quickly gave Nora a kiss on the head; then ran off to converse with some friends, leaving Nora with her brother.

"Met anyone nice?" Hans asked.

Nora shrugged. "Not really. I _did _learn that I have a _really _weird godfather, though."

Hans laughed. "You should see _my _godfather. Dad made us stop by his house today, and blisters, he's just… wow."

Nora frowned. "Who _is _your godfather? I don't think I've met him."

"Technically, I have two," her brother replied. "No godmother, though. Guess Mum and Dad don't know enough girls. But anyway, one is Dad's old friend, Corporal Bauer, who's my namesake. Then, the other one, this fellow we saw today, is this American reporter- just moved to London- named Eddie Malone and he's just… strange! He spent half our meeting thanking Dad for making him the godfather, and the other half taking pictures of me with his weird Clankinist camera and telling me how much I looked like my mother!"

Nora shook her head and watched as their parents conversed with a dramatically mustachioed man who seemed to be looking amusedly disappointedly at the couple.

"Mum and Dad sure do have strange friends," she commented.

"Aye," Hans agreed. "But at least they look happy."

Nora nodded, having no choice but to agree. They really _did _look happy.

**A/N: sorry, I'm bad at endings. Please review! And give me suggestions cause I'm pretty much out of drabble ideas. **


	6. Reality Check, Part 1

**A/N: Happy Easter everybody! Sorry I'm a little late; I just got home from vacation and my grandma doesn't have internet. But I'm here now with a brand new drabble for you all!**

**Now, the backstory behind this: I've seen a lot of Leviathan Christmas fics around this site (I've even written some). I've also seen a couple of New Years fics, and even some April Fools Day fics. But never before have I seen an Easter fic. So, I decided to write one!**

**This is only part one of my Easter fic, but I promise to post part two tomorrow. Also, expect a one-shot tribute to the sinking of the Titanic on Saturday (the 100th anniversary of the tragedy), not part of Stuff, but separate on my account.**

**Anyone, I hope you enjoy this part one. Please review!**

**Warning: this fic may place doubt in people's heads about the existence of the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and Jesus. Please note that I believe in the last two (not the first anymore) and I apologize if I sound like I'm discriminating their realness (I guess). **

"Mama? Is the Easter Bunny gonna come this year?"

Deryn looked up from her papers and sighed. Since Alek was still barking terrible at money, she had to do their taxes once a year. **(A/N: I have no idea how European taxes work, so I'm gonna pretend that they're like American ones) **The kids (and the upcoming Easter holiday) didn't make it any easier.

"What makes you ask that, Hans?" Deryn asked her six-year-old son.

"'Cause Nora said he wasn't real," Hans explained.

Deryn sighed again. Being four years older, Nora had a tendency to steer her brother towards specific beliefs. Deryn had hoped she would stop, especially after their last conversation about Santa Claus, and the previous one about Jesus, but apparently not.

"Come here," Deryn said, patting her lap.

Hans came over and sat, and Deryn took a deep breath, thinking of how to begin.

"First of all, honey, don't listen to everything your sister says," Deryn advised. "She's often wrong. Second…" Deryn paused, wondering whether to do this to her son or not. "Second, the Easter Bunny has a secret."

Hans gasped, jumping to his feet. "Really? Like _you_ did, Mama?"

Deryn laughed. "Not exactly. I assure you, the Easter Bunny's a boy. But he has a different _kind _of secret."

"What is it, Mama?" Hans asked, sounding amazed.

"He favors Americans."

"_No!_" Hans gasped unbelievingly.

"_Yes!_" Deryn insisted. "No matter how good _we _are during the year, if Americans are _really _good, he gives them _more _magical eggs and completely ignores us!"

"That's terrible!" Hans exclaimed.

Deryn nodded and turned back to her papers, hoping Hans would leave it at that.

Unfortunately, her son wasn't done yet.

"Mama?"

Deryn sighed and looked up again. "Yes, Hans?"

"Can I call Uncle Eddie and tell him to be really bad before Easter?"

Deryn chuckled to herself. She was sure Eddie Malone would have no trouble with that. Still… "I'm pretty sure it only works with children," she told the boy. "And Uncle Eddie has no children."

Hans pouted. "Alright," he sighed.

Deryn gratefully returned to the tax papers, but she could tell her son still hadn't left the room.

"Mama?" he said again.

Deryn sighed once more and looked up again. Her heart sank pityingly at what Hans said to her.

"If I pray really hard, do you think the Easter Bunny will come?"

Deryn smiled at the six-year-old, making a mental note to do something about this. "I'm sure he will, sweetheart."

Hans grinned. "Okay! Thanks, Mama!"

The boy then skipped out of the study, muttering The Lord's Prayer as he went.

Deryn sighed, scribbled down one last number, and yelled, "NORA!"

There was a small shriek of fear and the ten-year-old girl skidded into the room.

"Yes, Mama?" Nora squeaked.

Deryn sighed again and rubbed her temples. "Nora, honey, how many times have I told you _not to tell your brother things aren't real?_"

Playing with her hands nervously, Nora replied, "A lot of times."

Deryn nodded. "Good. So _why _do you keep doing it?"

Nora stared at the floor and shrugged.

Her mother sighed- she seemed to be doing that a lot lately- and advised, "Just don't do it again."

"Yes, Mama!" Nora said; then ran out of the room.

Deryn put her head in her hands.

It was going to be a long Easter.

**A/N: There's part one! Hope you liked it.**

**Note to Anchorgurl1- thanks for letting me know about the typo. I fixed it :)**

**Note to Jett-Wolfe98- yeah, I admit the godparent choices were a little weird, but I need a way to get Newkirk in there, Bauer and Barlow had to be because of the kids' names, and I completely forgot about Lilit, so I randomly picked Eddie as another person. **

**Anyway, please review everybody! Part two will be coming tomorrow. **


	7. Reality Check, Part 2

**A/N: Hey, guys! Sorry I took so long to update. I'm a procrastinator. But, here's part two of the (belated) Easter drabble. Enjoy!**

**Note to Salinde: thank you so much for reviewing and saying I write like Scott-la! :) And thanks for being honest about your thoughts on married Dalek. This is the last drabble I have about their kids, and then I have one planned about Alek and Deryn getting a house to live in together (but they're not married yet) and one 10 years after Goliath about their wedding invitation list, but other than that, nothing else. Thanks again for reviewing and I hope you like my other drabbles! :)**

**Thanks to everyone else who reviewed! I _love_ hearing from you guys!**

Deryn switched the torch **(A/N: British flashlight)** on and zipped up the suit.

"Are you _sure_ you want to do this?" Alek whispered.

Deryn took a deep breath and nodded. "I have to," she told her husband. "For Hans."

Alek shrugged and Deryn pulled the hood on over her head, looking like a dead proper bunny now.

It was the night before Easter. Hans had been praying for the Easter Bunny ever since the day he and his mother had talked.

Two nights before, Deryn had abandoned trying to finish the taxes (which _still _weren't done) and had bought a pink bunny suit from the local costume store. She planned to sneak into Hans's room and place plastic "magical" eggs (filled with sweets, of course) by his bed. Then, he'd be convinced that the magic bunny was real and hopefully would leave the subject alone.

Now, Deryn hoisted up her basket of eggs and started up the back stairs.

"Good luck!" Alek whispered.

When Deryn reached her son's bedroom, she silently slipped inside and began placing eggs on the floor. Unfortunately, one of them slipped from her hand and rolled (rather loudly) under the boy's bed.

Deryn cringed as she heard her son stir.

"Mr. Easter Bunny?" he said sleepily.

Pulling her hood farther over her head, Deryn straightened and said, "Hello, little boy. It is I, the Easter Bunny."

Deryn hoped her disguise would prove useful. She'd switched to her boy voice and increased her Scottish accent, but that didn't necessarily mean her son would buy it.

"Mr. Easter Bunny? Did you bring your magical eggs?" Hans asked hopefully.

Deryn held up her basket for the boy to see. "Yes, yes," she assured him. "But you can't see them until tomorrow. So go to sleep, alright?"

"Alright! Thank you, thank you, _thank _you Mr. Easter Bunny!" Hans exclaimed.

"Aye, kid, just go to sleep."

Luckily for the "Easter Bunny", Hans was fast asleep again in a quick minute, and she was able to escape with the empty basket without him waking up again.

When she got downstairs, Deryn sighed and began removing the bunny suit.

_It's official,_ she thought bitterly. _No more holidays._

* * *

><p>"Mama! Papa! Mama! Papa!"<p>

Deryn looked up from the tax papers as Hans came running down the stairs, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"What is it, Hans?" Alek asked, smirking at Deryn.

Hans held up the candy from his "magic" eggs.

"The Easter Bunny came! Just like you said he would, Mama!"

"_Really_?" Deryn said. "How wonderful!"

"And when I woke up in the night, he was there! And he _talked _to me, Mama!"

"_Did _he now?" Deryn asked, smiling to herself. Her plan _had _been pure dead brilliant, hadn't it? "And what did he say?"  
>Hans shrugged. "Not much. Just told me to go back to sleep so I could open my eggs. Oh, but Mama, you were wrong about him favoring Americans."<p>

Deryn raised an eyebrow. "Was I?"

Hans nodded.

"And how do you know that?"

"_Because_, Mama," Hans explained. "The Easter Bunny is Scottish! And guess what that means!"

Deryn felt her face grow pale. "What?" she dared to ask.

"It _means_ that he'll come _every year now!_"

Deryn's heart sank, and Alek silently laughing at her in the corner didn't help.

"Great," she muttered. "Now, Hans, why don't you go wake your sister?"

"Okay!"

Once Hans was out of sight, Deryn dropped her head into her hands. "I hate my life," she muttered.

"No you don't," Alek assured her, patting her shoulder. "You just hate Easter, right?"

Deryn nodded. "Since you can't do a Scottish accent though, next year _you're _doing the taxes."  
>Alek sat down next to her and put his head in his hands. "I hate my life."<p>

**A/N: sorry bout the lame ending there. And I apologize for any typos. I hurt my hand recently and it's still kind of hard to type. Anyway, please review, and next time, you guys get to see why this story is rated T!**


	8. A Wee Bit Too Much to Drink

**A/N: Warning: This oneshot is why this story is rated T.**

**Okay, here's how this oneshot came about: I was on a field trip and my friends Bramblepool, Smart Girl, and WolFang (all writers and Leviathan fans) were walking with me, we were talking about stuff and I said, "What do you think would happen if Dylan got drunk?" So, uh, yeah. This happened. Please enjoy and review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except the idea. Thanks to Bramblepool for forcing me to write it in three days.**

Aleksandar of Hohenberg liked having a best friend. And having Dylan as one was even better.

Alek respected Dylan. He wished he could be just like Dylan; wanted to be brave and friendly and outspoken, like Dylan was.

Alek never expected Dylan to ever break the rules, or at least get caught. He never expected Dylan to be anything but his version of perfect, which he just was.

All in all, Alek _never _expected Dylan to get drunk.

Sure, when Mr. Newkirk brought a bottle of wine to a party the crew had, Dylan had a few glasses. But, as Dylan explained to Alek one night, he just didn't _drink. _"It's too dangerous," he'd said. "Who knows what secrets you'll spill while drunk?"

But that opinion all changed when Dylan burst into Alek's cabin one day.

Alek jumped as the door loudly opened and Bovril scampered under Alek's bed to hide.

Dylan muttered an apology for scaring them, but didn't close the door.

"Alek, I need your help," he announced.

Alek raised an eyebrow and Bovril stuck its head out to mimic the expression. Dylan Sharp wasn't one to ask for help. But then, Alek frowned as he realized there were quite a few things off about his friend today.

First of all, Dylan's eyes were red and bloodshot, as if he'd been crying (a thing Dylan didn't do on its own, at least not in public). Second, the boy was clutching something in his fist that, after a closer look, Alek realized was the Gallantry medal that Dylan's father had received.

"What's wrong?" Alek asked, eyeing the medal.

"Nothing," Dylan assured him. "I just need your help with something. Come with me."

Dylan stuffed the medal into his pocket and grabbed Alek's arm, dragging him into the hallway.

They ran through the corridors of the _Leviathan _until they reached the galley. Dylan placed Alek right in front of the door and stuck his head in.

"Good, no one's there," he muttered, coming back out. "Alek, stay here and make sure no one comes in. I'll be right back."

Before Alek could protest, Dylan disappeared through the door, leaving Alek alone in the hallway.

Alek stood outside, playing with his hands nervously. He hoped no one would come and try to get in. Alek really was a terrible liar, and he couldn't very well tell the truth since he didn't know what Dylan was doing in there.

Luckily, no one came. 20 minutes later, Dylan came out into the hallway with a devilish glint in his eyes that was directed at the unopened bottle of whiskey in his hand. **(A/N: Btw, Smart Girl has already annoyingly pointed out that the **_**Leviathan **_**crew wouldn't keep the spirits in the galley, because of this exact reason, but I was too lazy to change it, so too bad)**

"Thanks Alek," he said, patting his friend on the shoulder. "I'll see you later." And he ran off towards his cabin, bottle in hand.

After a moment's hesitation, Alek followed.

Something was wrong with Dylan, Alek could tell. He wasn't one to steal spirits from the crew just for his own amusement! _Something must be troubling him, _Alek thought.

When Alek reached Dylan's cabin, only a few steps behind the boy himself, he paused before entering. Who knew what sate Dylan would be in?  
>But Alek knew he <em>had<em> to help his friend. He knocked, though, just to be safe.

"Come in," Dylan called.

Alek stepped into the cabin and started at what he saw.

Dylan had poured half the bottle of whiskey into a teapot and was lying on his bed, drinking it through the spout.

"Dylan? Is everything alright?"

Dylan shrugged, refilling the teapot. "'Course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well, you seem a bit…odd today," Alek explained.

Dylan didn't reply. He tipped the half-empty bottle back and drank the rest of the whiskey in one sip.

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" Bovril cheered from its perch on the head of Dylan's bed. **(A/N: Heh, heh, that rhymed)**

"You're not helping, Bovril," Alek scolded and grabbed the bottle from Dylan's grasp.

"Hey! What gives?" Dylan asked. His speech was starting to slur drunkily **(A/N: Don't think that's a word; don't really care) **and Alek had a strong feeling this wasn't gonna end well.

Alek placed the whiskey bottle on Dylan's desk and sat on the edge of his bed.

"Listen, Dylan, I'm your best friend, right?"

Dylan nodded. "More than that actually, but I can't tell you that without giving away my secret."

Alek didn't know what that meant, so he ignored it and continued. "If I'm really your best friend, you can tell me this: what's wrong? _Something _must be troubling you if you're acting this way."

"Whatdya mean?" Dylan slurred, his voice suddenly becoming high-pitched and almost girl-like.

"You don't drink," Alek pointed out. "Yet you drank that entire bottle of whiskey in five minutes. What's on your mind?"

Dylan stared at him for a minute; then said, "Do you _really _want to know what's on my mind?"

Alek nodded.

Dylan shrugged; then said in his drunken girl voice, "Okay! I'm a girl!"

"_What?_" Alek exclaimed.

"Uh huh," Dylan insisted, hiccupping a little. "And guess what else?"

"Uh…what?" Alek said hesitantly.

Dylan held his arms out as far as they could stretch and announced, "I love you _thiiiiiiis _much!" **(A/N: MR reference)**

Alek blinked; then cleared his throat awkwardly. "You do?"

Dylan nodded. "Mm hmm. But I couldn't tell you that 'cause you didn't know I was a girl! But now you do so it's _all_ happily ever after!"

Alek, not believing any of this nonsense, gently pushed Dylan back onto his bed. "Dylan, I _think _you've had a little too much to drink."

"Just a wee bit," Bovril agreed.

"No; I'm really a girl," Dylan insisted, hiccupping again. "You want me to prove it?"

Alek's eyes widened, disturbing images of this "proof" entering his mind. "No, no; it's alright. No need for you to prove it."

"Too bad!" Dylan exclaimed; then began taking his shirt off.

The moment Alek saw Dylan's wrapped up chest, he closed his eyes in disgust and reached out to cover Bovril's.

"Okay, Dylan, I get it. You're a girl. Now _please _put your shirt back on."

Dylan sighed dramatically, but obeyed.

Once his clothes were returned to their on-body state, Dylan gestured for Alek to come closer.

"What?" Alek whispered.

Suddenly, Dylan grabbed Alek by his shirt and pressed his—or, her—lips against Alek's. Alek tried to break away, but the girl was too strong, making the kiss last until Alek couldn't breathe. He kicked Dylan hard in the stomach, but when she finally gave him his breath back, all she did was laugh.

"That tickled," Dylan hiccupped.

Alek rolled his eyes, still gasping for breath, and backed up slowly towards the cabin door. "Alright, Dylan, well—I really should be going now. Why don't you try to get some rest, all right?"

"But, Alek, I wanna kiss you again," Dylan protested loopily. "You're such a great kisser."

Alek cleared his throat and began to turn the doorknob.

"All right, Dylan, well maybe we can do that tomorrow, when you're not so…. Intoxicated. But for now, I really should be going."

"WAIT!" Dylan cried out. "I have another secret!"

Alek froze. "What?"

Dylan suddenly began laughing hysterically. Between bursts of laughter, she gasped, "Newkirk…"

Alek's stomach twinged. Was _Newkirk _a girl now too?  
>"…is afraid of <em>glowworms,<em>" the girl continued.

Alek sighed in relief. _That _everyone knew. "Yes, Dylan, I'm aware of this fact. Actually, _I _used to be afraid of glowworms myself."

Dylan started laughing even harder, even slapping her knees. "That means you're a _Newkirk_," she gasped.

Alek rolled his eyes. He grabbed Dylan's ring of keys; snapped for Bovril to climb up onto his shoulder; and left Dylan's cabin, locking the door behind him.

"_Mr. _Sharp had a wee bit too much to drink," Bovril commented once they stood in the hallway.

Alek gave him a curious look, finally understanding the loris's nickname for Dylan. "How long have you known?"  
>Bovril didn't directly answer; just muttered, "You're a great kisser," and chuckled.<p>

Alek rolled his eyes and returned to his cabin.

Roughly half an hour later, Aleksandar looked up from the book he was reading.

For at least the last twenty minutes, Dylan had been banging on the wall of her stateroom which, unfortunately, was lined up right next to Alek's.

"Alek!" Dylan moaned, hiccupping slightly. "I'm not drunk anymore! Can I come out now?"

"No!" Alek called back.

Dylan slammed her hands against the wall again. "Will you come in here and kiss me, then?"

"_No!_"

Bovril chuckled at Alek's discomfort.

"But I'm _bored_!" Dylan moaned.

Alek rolled his eyes and turned back to his book, ignoring the girl.

Then, suddenly, Alek jumped when he heard a loud crash from next door.

Jumping to his feet, Alek ran out the door and fumbled to unlock Dylan's. When he finally opened the door, he saw that Dylan had broken her stateroom window and was halfway hanging out of it.

"Dylan!" Alek shouted, catapulting forward.

At the very last moment, Alek was able to pull Dylan back into the room before she fell to her watery grave.

"What was that?" Alek exclaimed, holding Dylan by the shoulders.

"I was bored," she groaned.

"That doesn't mean you jump out a window!" Alek shouted.

Dylan tilted her head in confusion. "Since when?"

Alek rolled his eyes. "I can't leave you alone in here," he muttered.

Luckily, Dylan was still an airman; despite her…lack of…man….ness….

In other words, she had rope.

Keeping one hand clamped around her wrist, Alek grabbed a long string of rope from Dylan's desk and pulled her back to her bed.

"Alek, you're touching me," Dylan sighed, giggling.

Alek shuddered a little, but stayed focused on the task at hand. He forced Dylan onto the bed and tied her hands behind her, entwined in the bars of the headboard.

"Alek, stop it!" Dylan complained. "Don't use my rope! Come here and kiss me instead! I like it when you kiss me!"

Alek shook his head and quickly tied off the knot. Then he grabbed the biggest book off of Dylan's shelf and sat down to read.

"Whatcha reading?" Dylan asked, swaying slightly.

"I don't know," Alek replied, looking up at her, "But it looks interesting."

Dylan nodded and Alek returned to the book.

Unfortunately, it proved to not be nearly as interesting as he'd hoped. After reading a chapter and a half, Alek was bored to tears and falling asleep. However, he woke with a jolt when he realized he shouldn't leave Dylan unsupervised.

If he'd awoken even a moment later, Dylan would've fallen to her death. Somehow she'd managed to escape her ropes and was halfway out the window again.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Alek shouted, dragging Dylan into the room again.

"Everything," Dylan replied, before reaching out towards the window again.

In an earnest attempt to save his friend, Alek grabbed the heavy book he'd been reading and hit Dylan on the head with it, knocking her out cold.

Deryn groaned as she painfully opened her eyes.

Her head hurt more than the time Jamie McCrimmons dared her to jump out of a 20 foot tree and she fell headfirst into the rocks. **(A/N: Random Scottish name was a DW reference, btw)**

One hand on her aching head, Deryn slowly sat up, trying to make sense of her surroundings. So far, everything was fuzzy, and when she rubbed her eyes, it just hurt more.

Finally, her vision cleared. Alek stood in front of her, looked both relieved and concerned.

"Dylan? Are you alright?" he asked.

Deryn tried to nod, but it hurt her head. "What happened?" she groaned instead, fortunately keeping her boy voice.

Alek cleared his throat awkwardly. "You were… acting a bit strange yesterday. You stole whiskey from the galley and, uh…. had a wee bit too much to drink."

Deryn would've rolled her eyes at Alek's attempt at a Scottish accent, but her heart sank when she recalled the events of her pre-intoxication.

"It was 3 years ago, Alek. Yesterday," she whispered. **(A/N: No idea how long ago it was, btw. I just made up a number)**

Alek frowned. "What was?"

Deryn forced her eyes shut, the volume of Alek's voice making her head hurt again. She felt something cold press against her forehead and her eyes opened again. Alek had placed his cool hand on her head, which lessened the pain just a squick.

Alek's eyes said, "Go on," so she did.

"It was the day my da died."

Alek gasped. "Oh, Dylan, I…" he removed his hand in surprise and Deryn lay back on the bed again.

Deryn shook her head. "It's fine. I didn't mean to freak out about it. It's just…"

"Hard, I know."

Desperate to change the subject, Deryn asked, "So… how was I as a drunk?"

Alek just shrugged, although Deryn noticed that he refused to meet her eyes. "You weren't too bad," he told her. "You kinda rambled for awhile, and then passed out."

Deryn wasn't sure to what extent of truth that was, but she figured that if she'd said anything that bothered him, he'd tell her.

"Anyway, I'll leave you to rest," Alek said, standing. "I'll explain to the crew what happened. But, uh… I won't tell them anything that will get you in trouble. Sleep well, Dylan."

Once Alek was gone, Deryn tried to think about what his last comment could've meant, but she was too tired and in too much pain to think about it now.

So she closed her eyes and prepared to fall into a fitful sleep.

(6 weeks later)

"Alek, I have something to tell you," Deryn said nervously, standing up from where she sat.

"What is it, Dylan?" Alek sounded distracted and didn't even look up from the pieces of metal he was tinkering with.

Deryn took a deep breath. "I- I'm a girl."

"Oh, I know," Alek said, still not looking up from his tinkering.

"Y-you do?" Deryn exclaimed.

"Mmm hmm." Alek nodded.

"H-how do you barking _know_?"

Alek finally looked up at her, an amused look in his eyes. "Remember that time, just a few weeks ago, when you were mourning your father's death and had a…wee bit too much to drink?"

Deryn hesitated. "Aye."

"You told me then." Alek went back to his tinkering, but Deryn wasn't done yet.

"Did I tell you anything else?" She was aware that her voice was getting all squeaky, but it didn't really matter now, did it?

Alek smirked and Deryn was slightly scared to hear his reply.

"You said you love me," he answered.

Deryn's eyes widened. "I did?" she squeaked.

Alek nodded, still smirking. "And you kissed me. And would not stop kissing me."

Deryn felt her face get hot. "Alek, I-I'm—"

"Oh, no, it's alright," Alek assured her. "It was actually quite nice. In fact…"

Alek put down his pieces of metal and stood from his chair. Deryn stared at him as he came closer to her and put one hand on her shoulder.

"…Thinking about it over these last few weeks, I decided I might want to do it again."

Alek leaned forward. Deryn closed her eyes and prepared for the pressure of his lips against hers.

But nothing happened. She opened her eyes again to see Alek just as close, but no longer about to kiss her.

"Sorry," he said rather awkwardly. "It's just…I figured I should know your name, before we…you know…do this. I don't want to enforce awkwardness by continuing to kiss Dylan." **(A/N: Too late Alek!)**

"Ah, right. Of course." Deryn stuck out her hand. "I'm Deryn."

Alek took her hand and gave it a small shake. "It's nice to meet you, Deryn." He quickly kissed her; then left the room.

Deryn stood there for a moment, replaying in her mind what had just happened. The force of the thought pressed her into a chair.

_He kissed me,_ she thought, almost not believing it. _Alek really kissed me. _

Deryn shook her head to clear it and rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"No matter what," she muttered. "I swear on the _Manual of Aeronautics _**(A/N: Because we all know the Manual's like Deryn's Bible) **that I'll _never _drink again." 

**A/N: So! How's that for a reveal scene? That was probably the longest (good) oneshot you'll ever get out of me—26 and a half pages in my notebook, 6 and a half on Word—so, if you liked the longness, you have Bramblepool to thank; if you hated it, it's all Bramble's fault. I was gonna make this a lot shorter, but then Bramble kept making me write more. So, yeah. The longness was her idea. Anyway, I hope you liked the oneshot. The next one will come soon(ish) and the next one will be a two-part about Deryn and musicals and…yeah, you'll see. Anyway, please review and I'll try to update again as soon as possible. :)**


	9. Musical Nightmares Parts 1 and 2

**A/N: Hey, guys. Soooo sorry this took so long to get updated. I had the chapter written and everything, I just got really distracted. To make up for it, I'm gonna post both parts of this two-parter, and I promise I'll update sooner next time. Thanks so much for sticking with me. I hope you like this and please review!**

"NO!" Deryn shouted, bolting upright in her bed.

Deryn breathed heavily, trying to get the horrible image out of her head. It was the third time she'd had the dream that week, but not until now had it been so vivid.

Footsteps sounded down the hallway, and Deryn jumped when the door suddenly burst open.

"What's wrong?"  
>Deryn sighed in relief. It was just Alek, making sure she was all right.<p>

"I heard screaming," Alek explained. "Is everything all right?"  
>Deryn flopped back onto her bed and took a shaky breath.<p>

Alek closed the door and sat on the edge of the bed, patting her knee reassuringly with one hand. "Nightmares again?"

All Deryn could do was nod.

"Was it your father?" Alek whispered.

Surprisingly enough, Deryn shook her head. "Worse."

Alek looked surprised, and Deryn knew what he was thinking. What could be worse for her than watching her da go up in flames?  
>"Tell me," Alek pressed.<p>

Deryn took a deep breath and gushed it all out.

"Ever since I left the Air Service, I've been having nightmares about the ways the crew could've found out my secret," she explained.

Alek raised an eyebrow. "Did they make you take your shirt off or something?" he guessed.

Deryn rolled her eyes. "No; I had that dream last night. And it was no more than just barking awkward. Tonight's was much worse. You see, Captain Hobbes had this crazy idea that the _Leviathan _crew could be part of a… well, a—a musical. And… let's just say my singing voice gave me away."  
>Deryn looked up at Alek, waiting for the much-needed comfort he was sure to give her. But her heart sank when she saw his face, just barely concealing a burst of laughter.<p>

She glared at him, feeling as if she'd been punched in the stomach. How _dare _he insult her like that!

"I'm sorry," Alek said, having finally controlled his laughter. "It's just… of all the dreams! You couldn't have just sung like a boy?"

Deryn crossed her arms angrily. "Well, my dream-self didn't know how to do that!"

Alek laughed, sweetly this time, and shook his head. "_Schlafen gehen, Liebe._" **(A/N: according to google translate, that means go to sleep, love)**

Deryn let him give her a quick kiss on the cheek; then lay back down on her bed as Alek left the room.

Deryn sighed and closed her eyes. All in all, Alek _had _been pretty helpful, despite his interesting methods.

She was at least glad _he _knew her secret.

**(A/N: And here's part two, an AU where Alek still does not know Deryn's secret)**

Alek sleepily sat up and rubbed his eyes. Next to him on the bed, Bovril was also seemingly annoyed at being driven from his sleep, but Alek didn't know what could've woken them.

Suddenly, he heard it again: a sound that was like the mixture of a yell and a sob.

Alek frowned. "_Mr. _Sharp," Bovril whispered. Alek nodded. It _had _sounded like Dylan.

"I'll be right back, Bovril," he told the loris.

Alek slipped out into the hallway and over to the door of Dylan's stateroom.

"Dylan?" he called softly, knocking lightly on the door.

Alek heard a sniff from inside the room, and the door opened.

Alek was surprised to see his friend like this. Dylan's eyes were red and bloodshot and Alek caught a glimpse of tears running down his face before Dylan quickly swiped them away.

"Is everything all right?" Alek asked his friend.

Dylan crossed his arms over his chest, obviously uncomfortable with the situation. "Aye, it's—_I'm_—fine. Just… couldn't sleep."

Alek frowned in concern. "Nightmares again?"  
>Although he looked very reluctant to do so, Dylan nodded.<p>

"May I come in?" Alek said. "We can… you know, talk about it."  
>Dylan shrugged and stepped back to let Alek in the room.<p>

Dylan climbed back into his bed—fully clothed, Alek noticed—and so Alek awkwardly sat down at the boy's desk.

"Tell me," Alek whispered.

Dylan took a deep breath and began. "Captain Hobbes had this… this _crazy _idea, that… we, that is, the crew… could do a, uh, a musical."

Alek raised an eyebrow. For once, Dylan hadn't been dreaming about his father, which Alek supposed was a good thing, but still… a _musical_?  
>"Did they hear you sing and find out you're secretly a girl?" he guessed teasingly.<p>

Unfortunately, while Alek had been thinking about Dylan's strange nightmare topics, the latter had grabbed a glass of water from his bedside table and taken a sip.

He now spit it out, rather dramatically.

"Where'd you get _that _idea?!" Dylan exclaimed.

Alek shrugged, not sure why this was such a big deal. "I don't know. I read a lot."  
>Breathing heavily, Dylan shakily put his glass down. "Never mind. But, anyway, I just… wasn't comfortable singing in front of people."<br>Alek shook his head and laughed. "Alright, Dylan. Whatever you say. Just, do me a favor, alright?"

Dylan nodded.

"Never audition for a musical."

Dylan rolled his eyes and Alek could tell his comforting had worked. He patted Dylan's knee reassuringly and left the room.

When he was back in his stateroom, Alek picked up the sleeping Bovril from his bed and placed it on the floor.

Then Alek climbed into his bed and closed his eyes, ready to fall into a graceful sleep.

But first, he sighed, thinking of Dylan.

_I have such strange friends,_ he thought.

**A/N: So there's that. I hope you liked it. Please review and I'll update faster next time, I promise!**


	10. MASH BarlowNewkirk

**A/N: Hey guys. Sorry I haven't updated in forever, I had absolutely no reason not to, I just got distracted from Leviathan for awhile. The main reason I'm updating today is because I start school tomorrow, and I'm not sure how much writing time I'll have, so I wanted to post something before then.**

**Here's the next oneshot. It's kind of a long one, and the idea came from a MASH game my friends and I had that shipped Dr. Barlow with Newkirk (but don't worry, they're not shipped in the fic).**

**This takes place sometime in between Leviathan and Behemoth, by the way.**

**Let me know what you think and review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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><p>Eugene William Newkirk glanced fearfully behind him before slipping down the corridor.<p>

After once again making sure no one was following him, Newkirk hesitantly knocked on the stateroom door.

The person who opened the door looked just a squick more than surprised.

"Mr. Newkirk," Dr. Barlow said. "May I help you?"

Newkirk cleared his throat, fiddling with his hands nervously.

"I was wondering if I could speak to you, Doctor. About a, uh… career matter."

Dr. Barlow raise an eyebrow, but stepped back and allowed Newkirk to enter the room.

"What is it, Mr. Newkirk?" she asked, sitting down at a desk.

Newkirk shut the door behind him and said, "Well, ma'am, I… I need your help. Because…" Newkirk sighed, deciding to blazes with it all. "Dr. Barlow, I want to be a scientist."

Dr. Barlow blinked in surprise. "A scientist, Mr. Newkirk?"

Newkirk nodded. "Over the course of my time here on the _Leviathan_, ma'am, I've learned to appreciate the beasties around here. And I've started to admire the brilliant scientist who fabricated them. So, I was thinking that I wanted to do that one day. And I was wondering if you could teach me, ma'am. I'd be, like, your apprentice."

Dr. Barlow hesitated, considering the option.

"All right, Mr. Newkirk," she finally replied. "I'll see what I can do. You'll have to do a bit of extra work for me, though."

Newkirk nodded excitedly. "Yes, ma'am, of course."

Dr. Barlow sighed. "You'll start tomorrow, Mr. Newkirk."

Newkirk nodded again, backing up awkwardly. "Yes, ma'am, of course, ma'am, thank you ma'am. But, uh, one thing, Doctor. Please don't tell Dylan about this. He'll laugh at me."

"Don't worry, Mr. Newkirk," Dr. Barlow promised. "Our secrets are safe with me."

"Thank you, ma'am. Good day!"

Newkirk awkwardly left the room, grinning like mad.

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><p>Deryn Sharp watched suspiciously as Newkirk walked happily back to his cabin.<p>

Deryn had been conveniently passing by when Newkirk had entered Dr. Barlow's stateroom. She hadn't been able to hear most of the conversation, but she _had _heard two lines that she would never forget.

"Please don't tell Dylan about this. He'll laugh at me."

"Don't worry, Mr. Newkirk. Our secrets are safe with me."

Deryn hid in an empty office when Newkirk left the lady boffin's room. Then she peeked around the corner to make sure the other middy was gone. Then she started towards her cabin, thinking all the way there.

Obviously, Newkirk and the clever-boots were hiding something. Something that Deryn would make fun of Newkirk for. Which obviously meant it was something she wouldn't think Newkirk would do.

Deryn gasped as she realized what the secret must be.

_Newkirk was having an affair with Dr. Barlow!_

Deryn started walking faster, eventually breaking into a run.

She needed to talk to Alek.

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><p>Alek didn't have much to do on the <em>Leviathan <em>when he wasn't working on the engines, so he often sat in his stateroom doing nothing.

At that moment, Alek was lying on his bed, waiting for Dylan to come tell him to take over watching the eggs.

While he was waiting, Alek took a rubber ball he'd found and threw it at the opposite wall. It bounced off, hit the floor, and was _supposed _to come back into Alek's hand, but instead landed a few feet from his bed, missing him completely.

Just as he was bending over to retrieve it, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Alek called, tossing the ball onto his bed.

The door opened, and Alek wasn't surprised to see Dylan standing there, but hadn't expected his friend to have his hands on his knees, panting heavily.

"Dylan? What's wrong?"

Dylan fully stepped inside the cabin and closed the door, still trying to catch his breath.

"Barlow," he finally gasped. "Newkirk. They- together- cabin-"

"Hold on," Alek interrupted. "Slow down. What about Dr. Barlow and Mr. Newkirk?"

Dylan took a deep breath; then sat down at Alek's desk and started over.

"I was coming back from the machine room and I passed by Dr. Barlow's stateroom," he explained. "And Newkirk was there as well. He slipped into the cabin just as I came up to the door, and of course I knew something was a wee bit off. So I listened in. They were quiet, though, so I only caught the last few lines of their conversation. But what I heard was definitely mind-blowing."

Dylan told Alek what Newkirk and Dr. Barlow had said, then his suspicions about what they meant.

Alek rolled his eyes. "Oh, yes, Barlow and Newkirk: the _perfect _couple," he teased.

"It could happen," Dylan protested.

"You do realize that there's roughly thirty years between the two, right?" Alek pointed out.

"Well, aye, but-"

"And that Dr. Barlow's _married_?"

"Oh." Dylan looked very disappointed that Alek had made two perfectly good points. "But, what if-"

"Dylan, why don't we just go ask Mr. Newkirk about it?" Alek suggested.

Dylan _hmmph_ed. "Well, _that's _no fun," he mumbled, but agreed.

By the time Alek and Dylan had reached Newkirk's cabin, Alek had _finally _convinced his best friend to let _him _do the talking.

But, of course, it didn't work out that way.

The moment Mr. Newkirk opened the door, Dylan immediately accused, "We know your secret, Mr. Newkirk."

While Newkirk looked extremely confused and slightly scared, Alek explained (much less dramatically), "Dylan overheard some of a conversation you had with Dr. Barlow, and he drew some… _interesting _conclusions about the meaning of what he heard."

Newkirk sheepishly looked down at his feet. "Oh. You heard that?"

"Some of it, aye," Dylan replied.

"How much?"

Dylan repeated what she'd told Alek.

Newkirk's eyes widened. "Oh, Dylan, I'm sorry I hid it from you, but I knew you wouldn't be happy! Especially with my family being Monkey Luddites and all, and since I'm always complaining about the beasties and-"

"Wait a minute," Dylan interrupted. "What does this have to do with your affair with Dr. Barlow?"

Newkirk stared at him for a minute, then laughed out loud. "Affair?! Blisters, Mr. Sharp, is _that _what you thought this was about?'

Dylan looked embarrassed, and Alek attempted to stifle his laughter.

"What _was _it about?" Dylan asked Newkirk.

Newkirk shook his head. "I was asking Dr. Barlow to tutor me so I could become a scientist."

"Oh." Dylan looked even more embarrassed. "Well, I didn't expect that."

Newkirk began to _fully _explain what had gone on between him and the lady boffin, and by the time he was done, Dylan seemed to understand what he'd heard.

After a while, Newkirk said goodbye and closed his cabin door.

Alek burst into laughter the moment Newkirk was out of earshot.

Dylan glared at him. "Get stuffed."

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><p><strong>AN: I hope you liked it. Please review!**


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